nullmuse's Journal

More "Not News" News
One of my (many) pet peeves has to be when I find a "news article" that tells me things that are already widely-known and commonly accepted facts as though they are some kind of amazing new ground-breaking news.

To wit, THIS Article courtesy of dogged quester of news PETER SVENSSON and the AP Newswire, "Finger Thin Cables Tie Internet Together".

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Holy shit! You mean, this Internet-thing here that I connect to, is REALLY just a bunch of cables between interconnected devices?!!??!!? Are you freaking KIDDING me?!?!?

And not just cable, but I bet there's ALL KINDS of cables! 'Cause like, on the back of my PC and my cable modem (there's that 'cable' word again, I'm sensing a trend here!!), I have a CAT-5E cable, and then the cable modem connects to an RG-58 COAX cable. I bet that means I can send like 5 CATS a second through my computer. And that MUST be fast, because my own cat runs REALLY REALLY fast when I chase her, so imagine how fast FIVE cats must be!!!

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Come ON people, seriously....does anybody who went to college after 1985 or so REALLY not know that there are Trans-Atlantic fiber strands?

I understand if you pump gas for a living and do nothing but crank out babies and drink up your wife's unemployment check on the weekend, you might not be aware of HOW the Internet works, exactly, but does anybody not know that there are physical connections between ALL the machines that are connected to the Internet??

If you don't particularly CARE how things work, I can see that this would be news to you. But if you didn't know this kind of thing already, would you really stop and read our buddy PETER SVENSSON's article??? Hell, no, my friends, and why would you?! Between 'American Gladiators' on Monday Nights, 18 editions per week of American Idol, and new episodes of 'LOST' and 'Celebrity Apprentice', who the hell has time for trivialities like finding out HOW the Internet works???

That reminds me--I should drop Pete an e-mail, always assuming he's figured out the mysteries of how THAT shit works, and tell him I've thought of his next article for him: "FREE Video Signals BEAMED Through Open Air". Man, if he's amazed by the Internet, imagine how my "street-cred" is going to skyrocket when I breackdown CRT guns and DLP and LCD-HD television technology to him!

And then, of course, I'll get to impress him AGAIN this time next year when all the standards here in America are changed and the FCC forces all our broadcasters to go to a "pure digital" system. (Don't get me started on the FCC...)

I mean, if you're on the Internet and using a PC, you ARE accessing the "Internet Backbone", after all. Do they think we all just thought that was a euphemism? They think we all CALL it a backbone because we don't want anyone to know that, like my wife believes, there were simply a bunch of microscopic Japanese-elves that lug 1's and 0's back and forth between the wall-jack and every-other-point-in-the-known-Universe???

I am appalled that anybody can write shit like this, pretend that it's groundbreaking new information, and call themselves a "journalist".

This sort of reporting is on par with headlines like "Humans Require Oxygen for Respiration/Carbon-Dioxide Suspected By-Product" or "Skin Found To Burn When In Direct Contact With Fire."

Goddamn people...it's no wonder we can't get our shit together and take care of each other on this pitiful blue marble. If we could just for a moment realize that if every person took time to care more about someone else than themselves, we could instantly have World Peace and Heaven on Earth.

But no, we'd rather talk about Britney's next hospital trip, and Lindsey Lohan and OJ's next jail visits, or the death of Anna Nicole Smith, or pretty much ANYTHING that makes us forget what a money-driven, cold, de-personalized world we've created that we'll do anything to avoid the fact that when we look in the mirror most of us don't do squat to help our fellow man.

Let's face it people....This isn't news. Unless it's news just to PETER SVENSSON.

Let's spend all our time pretending like this is the sort of thing we ought to be talking about, instead of REAL issues, important issues, like taking care of our disabled and homeless citizens, which we don't do.

George Bush talked in his "State Of The Onion" speech about policing government spending THREE times, and only ONCE did he mention that he would be cutting 151 'liberal' programs to help balance the budget.

I guarantee you that a lot of people out there will NEED those government programs, but eh, FUCK EM, let's save a dollar for Dub-ya.

He's convinced, after all, that we're all talking about balancing our budgets around our family dinner table. I tell you, some of us aren't. Some of us are talking about how we're going to manage to avoid having our homes foreclosed on because we've been laid off of work for nearly a year now, despite the fact that even WAAY back in 1997 we could've drawn pictures and easily explained this whole "Cables required for connectivity" concept to Peter Svennson.

He urged Congress to pass legislation so that NO government spending could be decided in committee, because he said that 'things done in the dark' couldn't possibly be done for the good of the American people.

What about the Patriot Act, George?? Since you mention sneaky things done in the dark, trying to hide what you're up to, aren't you going to even mention that one?!? What about the fact that YOU do the exact same thing with our personal information that you're accusing Congress of doing with a few measly dollars??? As if "government spending" is REALLY that big a problem.

You're the government! If you run out of money, you can always PRINT MORE. Don't pretend we don't know that one.

Of course, "We The People" don't even know that cables connect the Internet, so I guess it's good that you're willing to spoon-feed us our "news" and hold our hand and pretend like you're watching out for our best interests. Don't bother to explain how things are going with your wire-tapping exploits and the "Patriot Act" because I'm certain it's FAR over the heads of neophytes like us, anyway.